Category Archives: Lyme

One Year Anniversary

A few days ago marked my 1-year anniversary of when my 4 months of symptoms last year of “anxiety, depression, stress, sickness, lethargy, fatigue, stiffness, etc” AKA lyme disease was finally diagnosed. I did not want to write this post because it reminds me of how long I have been dealing with lyme. Some days I try not to think about all the things it took from me at one point. However, it is my reality and I share this poem with you.

For this one year, I write this poem for you.

1 year of symptoms,

1 year of fear,

1 year of learning, patience & hope.

 

1 year of crying,

1 year of frustration,

1 year of living day by day,

1 year of ups and downs, & acceptance.

 

1 year of explaining,

1 year of expressing,

1 year of explaining over and over again & being an educator about lyme.

 

1 year of faith,

1 year of dreaming,

1 year of questioning, believing & trusting.

 

1 year of changing my habits,

1 year learning about myself, being myself, & stop being perfect.

1 year of eating healthier, cutting out sugar and stress.

 

1 year of family,

1 year of strength,

1 year of relying on others & asking for help when I need it.

 

1 year of struggle,

1 year of taking it easy,

1 year affecting my mind set.

 

1 year of changed goals,

1 year of seeing the lighter side of things, & laughing at myself.

1 year of knowing that after all of this, I will help others. The ones without a voice.

 

1 year of darkness,

1 year of my hair falling out and then having my baby hairs grow back in.

1 year of light & knowing that, the end to all of this is near.

 

1 year of growing,

1 year of yearning,

1 year of figuring out new things that help my body, mind and soul.

1 year, 1 year, 1 year, 1 year….

1 year from now, I will look back at all of this and say….

1 year… I am a survivor.

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Over the moon

September 21, 2012 will always be a memorable night in my life forever.

Let me explain the reason why. 

Thalia is a latin pop singer/actress, who in 2008 was also stricken with lyme disease. When I fell ill last year, she was one of my biggest motivators that I will also get better. Her story of being diagnosed with lyme disease and doctors telling her it was depression or anxiety after the birth of her baby..sounded alot like all the other lyme misdiagnosis we always hear.   You can read about her story here: http://lymedisease.org/news/touchedbylyme/thalia.html. In her book “growing stronger”, she also talks a little bit more in detail of her struggles as well as seeing the end of the finish line  to battling her disease.

I listened to her music in the most difficult part of my lyme disease process, even when I didn’t have the strength to dance, I did..to her music even though the next day I would ache and hurt.  Her songs inspired me, pushed me and soothed my heart and soul with love. I remember listening to her music and crying. Crying with a combination of sadness and inspiration from her music and lyrics. It inspired me, that I too will get over this hurdle. 

I entered a contest to win tickets to see her perform live in NYC and won! 

 

I always say things happen for a reason. Who knew that a year later of my lyme diagnosis and feeling better, I would have the chance to see her in concert. She was dancing, jumping, singing, and doing everything a “normal” person would.  She even had a second baby after battling with lyme (which is another inspiration for me, since we would love to have children soon). She triumphed over her lyme disease and she is one of my biggest inspiration of triumphing over this disease.  The biggest accomplishment of the night for me, was that I stood in line with high heels to get in the concert for about 2 hours(standing this long and still feeling well). 

 The concert was wonderful and I am thankful that my struggles brought me to her music. Her music is filled with so much love and joy that it always leaves me feeling really good afterwards.  I enjoyed a night of music, love with my mom and sister in law and over all a sense that I too will win this battle shortly. Thank you Thalia for touching my life in a positive way and  for touching so many people’s lives.

Life has surprising twists and turns…a memorable night that I will always remember.

I leave you with this wonderful picture of the Empire State Building that I took while standing in line..such a beautiful building (I couldn’t stop staring at it).

-R

Right Words

 

 This weekend I was over at my parents house and showed them a video of a young girl’s struggle with lyme disease.  She went from being in a wheelchair to walking. Taught me  1) how truly blessed I am & 2) there is hope. 

At the end of the video, my  5 year old niece wanted for me to reply the video  again and again for her.  After she finished viewing the video, out of nowhere, she says to me,I LOVE YOU”. 

Right words, beautiful words needed at the right time.

Lyme Awareness Month

May…Lyme Awareness Month

If you asked me what Lyme Disease was a year ago, I would have said “What is that?, Lyme disease…?”.  Now, unfortunately, Lyme Disease is all I have in my mind these days.

This disease has brought me closer to my body…hearing it every single day. I have to ask myself what is it feeling, what symptom is here today, what symptom isn’t, how am I feeling.  A sense of desperation, of waiting, of wanting to know,when will this stop.  I was thinking today, where would I be a year from today, it got me excited knowing that I will be healed, and looking back at this journey as a growing experience.

I think I am one of the lucky ones, I got diagnosed with lyme within 4 months of weird symptoms..and never was bedridden, always went to work full time and just kept on trucking.  I say, I am one of the lucky ones, but even with diagnosing my lyme in 4 months and experiencing what I went through, which was HELL, I cannot even imagine what it’s like for other people, who have much worst symptoms, if my symptoms were hell to me, which wasn’t alot of pain, but dizzyness,tingling,heavyness,anxiety, air hunger..etc, then I cannot comprehend what it’s like for other people who are truly suffering with excruciating pain.

I think what scared me most of my lyme disease, was not knowing when I will get better and even reading other people’s stories, scared me.  Till this day, I still read about lyme and looking looking for answers but I learned that I need to take it day by day…

I will always remember May, especially bring awareness to the disease to others. I got bit in May, the end of May last year 2011, not knowing that the bite I had was not a mosquito bite, but a tick bit..I will always remember May.